Raneem Hijazi holds her child, Mariam, on her lap in her wheelchair, as Hijazi’s mother-in-law, Soha Sakallah (standing), helps her.
Claire Harbage/NPR
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Claire Harbage/NPR
DOHA, Qatar — Sitting in the lounge chair, Raneem Hijazi feels her nervousness rise. She is ready to fulfill her 11-month-old daughter for the primary time because the hospital in Gaza the place she gave start.
Then the door to her condo in Doha opens, and her mother-in-law carries child Mariam, along with her curly hair in pigtails, to her.
Hijazi, 23, is wheelchair-bound now — her legs nonetheless stuffed with pins and braces. She holds child Mariam on her lap and the kid leans in opposition to her mom’s left shoulder, the place her arm has been amputated.
Hijazi kisses her face, says her identify, and “It’s me, your mother.” Nevertheless it’s clear, Mariam doesn’t acknowledge her. The infant reaches for her grandmother.
This bittersweet second is one Hijazi thought would possibly by no means occur. In any case, it’s taken greater than 300 days. Nevertheless it’s a second she has thought rather a lot about, one which stored her going within the darkest instances, by way of greater than a dozen surgical procedures and excruciating bodily and emotional ache.
In that second of reuniting, all of Hijazi’s doubts disappeared. She thought, “That is my daughter. How did I depart her behind?”
The evening of Mariam’s start
Mariam’s birth was a miracle. Hijazi was eight months pregnant when the Hamas-led Oct. 7, 2023, assault on Israel occurred, and the Israeli airstrikes began in Gaza Metropolis, the place she lived along with her husband, his household, and their 11-month-old son, Azuz.
The bombings despatched Hijazi and her prolonged household to hunt shelter in central Gaza, the place the Israeli army stated it was a “protected zone.” It was there, at 3 a.m., that an airstrike hit their lodging.
Hijazi’s mother-in-law, Soha Sakallah, noticed Hijazi, her legs and arms trapped and mangled. “Her leg — I might see the bones, the flesh. It was darkish. I did not know what to do,” Sakallah remembers, crying. Close by, she noticed a grotesque scene: Hijazi’s son Azuz, Soha’s grandson, wasn’t shifting. “I used to be saying, Azuz, Azuz. I held him, and I noticed that his head was gone.”
Mariam waits and performs along with her grandmother throughout her mom’s bodily remedy appointment.
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Child Azuz was killed that day, together with seven different relations. Hijazi, who was badly injured and buried in rubble, informed her husband Asaad Sakallah, who survived, “Go away me. Go away me to die. My son is useless.”
However they did not depart her. Hijazi made it to Nasser Hospital in Khan Younis, within the southern Gaza Strip, the place 1000’s of individuals lined the hallways, searching for security from the continuing airstrikes. There, the medical doctors carried out an emergency cesarean part, lit solely by the flashlights on their cell phones. There was no electrical energy, no water, and no antibiotics to combat infections. And but she delivered a wholesome child woman, a number of weeks early.
She named her Mariam, after her husband’s sister who was killed.
“The minute they bought Mariam out and he or she was born and he or she drew her first breath, I drew a breath as properly,” remembers Hijazi. “I got here again to life.”
Airlifted to Qatar
However that life was nonetheless tenuous. After giving start to Mariam, Hijazi’s wounds had been so extreme she was evacuated first to Egypt after which by the Qatari authorities to Doha, Qatar, the place about 2,000 critically wounded sufferers from Gaza stay, present process medical care.
However she was greater than 1,000 miles away from her household.
Child Mariam, together with Hijazi’s husband and his dad and mom, had been ultimately in a position to make it to Egypt. They paid 1000’s of {dollars} to flee Gaza, however didn’t have visas to hitch Hijazi in Doha. So for 10 months, Hijazi, who was deep within the grief of shedding her son, needed to watch from her hospital mattress as her second child grew up over video messages and calls.
Soha Sakallah performs along with her granddaughter, Mariam, at an condo complicated for refugees from Gaza in Doha, Qatar, in September quickly after they arrived to the nation from Egypt.
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“Day by day she would do one thing new,” Hijazi recollects. “A bit of factor. A brand new motion.” She smiled for the primary time. She began speaking. She bought enamel.
“At first she was so tiny, she wouldn’t be capable to correctly concentrate on the cellphone once we would discuss on video name,” she provides. “However then when she grew a bit older, I purchased a toy for her, so she would concentrate on the cellphone display and take a look at the digicam. After which I felt I might discuss to her.”
Being alone in Doha was the toughest half. Over these lonely months, Hijazi underwent greater than a dozen surgical procedures, and numerous hours of psychological and bodily remedy — that’s nonetheless ongoing.
“After I first bought to Doha, I used to be in a darkish place,” she remembers. “I used to consider issues rather a lot, I bought depressed. To start with, I wasn’t sleeping in any respect. I informed the physician I used to be having nightmares of the evening we had been hit by the airstrike. I stored reliving that day — the day we had been hit — time and again, unable to neglect it.“
In that grief, the one factor that stored her going was the hope of sooner or later assembly, and holding, her second child for the primary time.
Soha Sakallah tries to coax her granddaughter, Mariam, to sleep on the couch.
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“Speaking to my daughter would make me really feel so significantly better,” Hijazi says. “A 360 diploma distinction, I felt reduction. She would utterly flip my temper round.”
After which, on one of many final days of August, when Mariam was already crawling and speaking, her household was accredited to hitch her in Doha.
By September, Hijazi’s small two-bedroom condo is packed: There’s a bubbly child plus Hijazi’s husband and his dad and mom, Soha and Ezzat Sakallah who’ve helped increase Mariam.
A lot of the time, all of the adults are targeted on child Mariam, who’s now the focal point. “She’s the fruit of this home,” her grandfather Ezzat says, “the enjoyment of this home.”
Hijazi says her daughter’s presence has lifted her spirits and helped her concentrate on rebuilding her bodily power.
An extended highway to restoration
Most of the companies Hijazi and different wounded sufferers from Gaza want are housed in the identical complicated in Doha the place they stay: flats constructed as housing for soccer’s 2022 FIFA World Cup. In certainly one of her afternoon bodily remedy classes, Hijazi’s therapist lifts her leg with a weight strapped to her ankle.
“We’re doing this to strengthen the muscular tissues,” says Ruwaa Majed, her physiotherapist. “Maintain it for 10 seconds, and launch.” She counts to 10, as Hijazi protests. “I’m finished Ruwaa, I already did 10!” she says, laughing. “You’re counting too slowly.”
These two girls are across the identical age, and over the months they’ve been working collectively they’ve turn into shut pals. Some classes, they simply sit and discuss. By this level, Majed is aware of Hijazi typically wants a bit of push to maintain going.
“Come on Raneem,” she encourages now, “Don’t you wanna be capable to run after your daughter?”
However almost a yr after the assault, even the smallest actions nonetheless trigger excruciating ache. Hijazi wants a prosthetic arm and would require a minimum of one other yr of intensive remedy to have the ability to stroll and take care of Mariam. She’s scheduled for one more main surgical procedure within the coming weeks to attempt to reconstruct the kneecap on her left leg, which was crushed.
Raneem Hijazi was injured when the condo in Gaza the place she was sheltering was bombed. She’s engaged on constructing power in her legs, although she is going to nonetheless want extra surgical procedures earlier than she will be able to heal.
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“Typically I sit there and I believe, I’ve solely bought one arm, each my legs are injured. My well being isn’t excellent. … How can I stand up and do issues? People who find themselves in my state of affairs don’t do issues,” she says. “However then I hear tales about girls who’ve misplaced each their legs and arms and are nonetheless doing issues and I believe, why not me?“
She just lately watched a video on-line of a lady who does all the things along with her toes — consuming and consuming, and he or she felt impressed.
“I don’t need to simply sit there and do nothing, so I’m attempting to study to do issues with my accidents. I’m attempting to cook dinner,” she says. “I believe to myself: I nonetheless have one arm, a minimum of. Let me use it.”
Again in her condo, Hijazi winces as she walks gingerly down the hallway to the kitchen, bracing herself in opposition to the wall. She begins to make espresso, utilizing her enamel to open a water bottle and untie a plastic bag of spices.
“I by no means need individuals to do issues for me,” she says, “I need to do issues for myself.”
Spending time within the kitchen brings her consolation. Earlier than the conflict, she beloved to bake. “Here’s a chocolate cheesecake I made,” she says, citing a photograph on her cellphone. She scrolls again by way of time, pulling up extra muffins and goodies she’s crafted. “Made by Raneem!” she says, laughing.
Regardless of having a protracted highway forward, moments like these remind her of the components of herself, and her outdated life in Gaza, that she is working to regain.
Scrolling by way of cake photographs, she tries to not linger on the a whole bunch of photographs of Azuz. It’s unimaginable to recollect her life in Gaza with out feeling the ache of shedding her son, she says. Mariam is now about the identical age Azuz was when he was killed, and each she and her husband can’t assist however see him in her.
Raneem Hijazi (left) holds her child, Mariam, whereas sitting subsequent to her husband, Asaad Sakallah, at an out of doors cafe in Doha, Qatar. Till this summer time, Hijazi was in Qatar by herself getting therapy. Now having the entire household round has livened up her life.
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“She seems to be identical to her brother,” Asaad Sakallah, 25, says.
“If my daughter does one thing that jogs my memory of my son, I discover myself instantly going to look again by way of photographs of him, and remembering him, and I begin to cry,” says Hijazi. “Her eyes are like his. Her chuckle is like his. Even after I maintain her, my coronary heart hurts for her and for my son.”
Sakallah pulls up a video of Azuz, laughing. He then scrolls to a special video, taken simply days in the past, of Mariam laughing.
It sounds precisely the identical.
Mariam would not know her mother but, and Hijazi’s accidents make it tough to carry her, to feed her and to alter her. In her wheelchair, Hijazi cradles Mariam along with her one arm and Mariam struggles to get away.
“As you may see, she’s not used to me. Her grandma is like her mom,” she explains. “That feeling alone kills me.”
Hijazi has resorted to little methods to maintain Mariam shut. On the sofa one morning she tickles the little woman, feeding her small kernels of popcorn to maintain her from crawling away. “I’m tempting her with popcorn,” she says. “I hope that she will get hooked up to me and will get used to me. The sensation of motherhood is so particular.”
With each chew Mariam giggles, and Hijazi smiles. “Little by little it’s getting higher,” Hijazi says. “She’s attending to know me and really feel extra snug round me.”
Starting to consider the longer term
For a lot of the time Hijazi has been in Doha, she hasn’t let herself take into consideration the longer term.
“We’re simply dwelling every day because it comes right here, we don’t know what’s going to occur tomorrow,” she says. “I take into consideration how we’ll construct a life for Mariam. Our life is not settled right here. The place will we be in a yr’s time?”
However having her household be part of her these previous few days has eased a few of her anxieties. She’s taken on the position of tour information, directing them to ice cream on the port and to the Souq Waqif, a market within the heart of town.
One evening Sakallah pushes her wheelchair by way of the part of the market promoting loud colourful birds. Mariam is using on her lap, holding onto an enormous pink balloon and squealing with pleasure.
Raneem Hijazi walks a number of steps with assist from her husband, Asaad Sakallah, to see the skyline of Doha from the port. They take some photographs within the metropolis and later get ice cream, constructing new recollections collectively on this new life.
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There aren’t any airstrikes right here; no broken buildings. They’re protected. However the market reminds Hijazi of markets again in Gaza, and he or she lingers on the very fact this isn’t their residence.
However Mariam’s unfiltered delight is contagious, and at this second Hijazi feels comfortable, and hopeful.
“I inform myself we’re solely dwelling this life as soon as, and it’s fleeting,” Hijazi says. In these moments, it is exhausting to not attempt to see the world by way of Mariam’s eyes. “I’d be completely satisfied giving Mariam even half the life we used to have in Gaza.”
This story was reported by Elissa Nadworny; produced by Fatima Al-Kassab; photographs by Claire Harbage; combined for radio by Lauren Migaki; edited for radio by James Hider and Steve Drummond; edited for digital by Alex Leff.
