DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I share a 3-year-old grandchild by way of our son. Till now, it hasn’t been a giant downside as a result of I stay in the identical metropolis as my son’s household, however that’s about to vary. My grandson is the enjoyment of my life, and I plan to go to wherever they transfer after my son’s job switch. I had been contemplating a transfer again to our hometown. Unbeknownst to me, my son has additionally been contemplating a transfer again there.
The issue for me is that my ex-husband nonetheless lives there, and he’s inclined to take over and monopolize the kid in the identical means he did with our son. He stays hostile towards me 20 years after our divorce.
A part of me says I have to be prepared to place up with the ache of being in shut proximity to my ex to be close to my grandson. Nonetheless, it jogs my memory strongly of staying married to him for the sake of what I perceived to be our youngsters’s well-being. In hindsight that was, in fact, misguided. Regardless of my reservations, ought to I put aside my doubts, transfer again to my dwelling metropolis and see what occurs? — DECISIONS TO MAKE
DEAR DECISIONS: Focus on your reservations together with your son and daughter-in-law. In case your ex-husband tries to monopolize their youngster, might they put the brakes on it? On the plus facet, you aren’t the identical lady you had been 20 years in the past. I’d prefer to assume that you’re stronger and smarter now. If I’m proper, whereas your ex could current a ache within the behind, it could be a tolerable ache, and you’d have the entry you wish to your grandchild.
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has a behavior that makes me sick to my abdomen. After we are out to dinner together with her, she often asks, “Can I’ve a style of that?” Then, with out ready for a response, she’ll stick her fork or spoon into my meals and take a chunk of it. It nauseates me when I attempt to eat the remainder of the serving. I don’t know methods to take care of this. She could be very delicate and simply offended, and I’ve all the time had the sensation she doesn’t like me and doesn’t assume I’m ok for her son.
I’ve requested my husband to properly ask his mom to cease doing this, however he refuses as a result of he doesn’t wish to insult his mom. After I instructed him it makes me sick to my abdomen, he requested if I’ve ever really gotten sick from consuming meals her used utensils have touched, and I needed to admit that I’ve not. So he mentioned, “Then the place’s the hurt?” It nonetheless actually bothers me. What can I do? — MY FOOD IS MINE
DEAR FOOD IS MINE: Whether or not your mother-in-law thinks you aren’t ok for her valuable son is irrelevant. As a result of tolerating her rudeness hasn’t endeared you to her, you would possibly as effectively begin standing up for your self. The following time she asks for “a style of that” smile, seize your plate, lower her off a chunk after which hand it to her.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To obtain a set of Abby’s most memorable — and most often requested — poems and essays, ship your identify and mailing handle, plus examine or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Expensive Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Transport and dealing with are included within the worth.)
