DEAR ABBY: I helped a good friend by giving her rides to and from work for 2 weeks whereas her automotive was being repaired. When she bought her automotive again, she instructed me to let her know if she might ever repay the favor by serving to me.
Lately, my automotive wanted repairs, so I requested if I might money within the favor for a journey to and from work for just a few days. She replied that she might try this for me, however I ought to know she had already “paid the favor (owed to me) ahead” by serving to out certainly one of her different mates, so she felt she didn’t owe me a favor any longer. I additionally bought the impression that, if she gave me rides to work, I might owe her a brand new favor. I instructed her to overlook that I requested, and I’d discover one other approach to get to work.
Is there some rule of etiquette that claims you must inform somebody you might be “paying a favor ahead” and now not owe them a favor? — ANNOYED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ANNOYED: If there may be, that is the primary I’ve heard of it. The “good friend” you describe is what they name a “bean counter,” or a “scorekeeper.” That is somebody who locations extreme emphasis on controlling issues, like expenditures, budgets and, in her case, relationships. Of us like which are finest averted.
DEAR ABBY: I typically surprise why males don’t care for his or her kids like ladies do. In my lifetime, I’ve recognized just one man who modified diapers, did naps and baths, took youngsters to daycare or college, attended most occasions within the little one’s life and was there for the kid 24 hours a day. (He’s the person I married.) Most males I do know assume all the above are the girl’s accountability alone, even when she works full time. I can solely assume it dates again to cavemen days or life on the prairie. — VALUED IN INDIANA
DEAR VALUED: Ideally, the obligations of kid care needs to be shared. You didn’t point out your age, however over the previous couple of many years I’ve been impressed to see fathers proudly carrying their infants in a sling or pushing them in strollers. In addition they take older kids out for a Sunday breakfast, to their sporting occasions in addition to to skilled sports activities occasions.
I don’t know what their house lives are like, and neither do you, however they look like very a lot concerned of their kids’s lives. In many years previous, males thought that working lengthy hours to supply for his or her households was what they had been presupposed to do, and due to this fact had been much less hands-on than your husband.
DEAR ABBY: A beloved good friend and member of the family has a behavior of fixing the temperatures of meals that’s already being cooked by different individuals. Is that this thought-about impolite? Is there a well mannered approach to right the scenario? — BOTHERED & BEWILDERED IN BOSTON
DEAR B&B: It could be time to submit an indication in your oven or range advising guests (beloved or not) that you don’t want your home equipment tampered with when you’re getting ready to entertain. Whoever has been doing that is extraordinarily presumptuous as a result of it might doubtlessly wreck the complete meal.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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